The Fall is beautiful here. Absolutely gorgeous. The leaves falling look like multicolored snowflakes, and the ones that have managed to stay attached are the most brilliant reds and yellows I have ever seen. We don't have a Fall like this in California, so being here now is amazing. And going jogging is much more fun when you're running through piles of leaves :)

And the stars, oh the stars....even though I am a self-proclaimed city girl, we don't have stars in the city like we do here.

Sometimes it's the little things that make it all worthwhile.

yay!!

 http://www.iie.org/en/Programs/Gilman-Scholarship-Program

Just wanted to let you know things are looking up :)

Whenever I'm feeling really down, I like to make myself go outside and find something that makes me happy. So last weekend, once I finally had some time to myself, I went out exploring in Tuebingen. A very cute town indeed. With lots more to discover! Of course I took a thousand pictures, but more importantly, it made me feel more comfortable...more at home.

I still feel like my German is suffering--I feel like everyone in class understands the teacher and each other, but me. I'm having such a hard time talking to my new German roommates and other new German friends, but most people are very patient and encouraging. All you gotta do is try. And practice!

As you can see....studying abroad is a roller coaster for most of us. You will have your ups and you will have your downs. Sometimes the downs are really, really far down there...but hang in there, because the ups are always coming!!

View from the Tuebingen Castle

Tuebingen Botanic Garden (1 of them)

Tuebingen Marktplatz

Tuebingen Marktplatz

 

http://www.iie.org/en/Programs/Gilman-Scholarship-Program

Tough Times Call for More Kleenex...

(as written on 10/15/2010...I was on a train without my computer)

I knew this would be hard. But I never knew it would be this hard. They said I'd go through culture shock, but I thought, "I'm strong, it won't get me down."

They even said some people would want to go home. "NO way, not me!!!"

And then...a few days ago it hit me. I mean it really hit me. I thought I was going through culture shock before, when I was living with the host family. But now, it's hitting me really hard. I can't believe how strong the urge is to just give up and go home.

This is very unlike me. I do not quit. I am strong, independent, and self-motivated. But...I miss my family, my friends, and oh man, I really miss my cat!!! I miss knowing where everything is and how everything works. I miss knowing and understanding the language spoken all around me.

And now, I don't know how anything works, I don't know where anything is, and I cannot speak the language beyond a few very basic things. I hate feeling so silent and awkward. I can't understand my roommates let alone have a conversation with them. I can barely understand what my teachers are saying and I find myself struggling to keep up. My boyfriend has to go back to the States and I'm afraid we'll break up. (Just like "they" said we all would...)

Oh and it's cold here. I mean really, REALLY cold.

It's insane how hard this is. One sentence keeps running through my mind. "Why did I do this to myself!?!?"

Despite what you are now most likely thinking, I am not writing this to scare you off. I am writing this because this is real. Studying abroad is difficult in almost every aspect. I am writing this for two reasons:

1) I know that I will be ok and I will get through this, but really only because I was told I would go through this. And since I knew this would happen, I don't feel isolated and stupid for coming here. I know what I am feeling is normal. And if you study abroad, you need to know this too!!
 
2) I am also writing this for myself. So when I start feeling better, I can look back on this and see how far I've come. Because I know that I will feel better. All I have to do is have faith in myself and hang in there.

Know how I know? Because "they" said I would. Every student I spoke with who went through this program last year had a fantastic time. When I explain how I'm feeling now, they say, "Oh yea...I remember that."

So what to do until I get past all this? Same as usual. Stay active, keep busy, and never stop exploring this new city of mine. I'm trying to put myself out there and keep practicing my German, no matter how bad I think it is.

Deep down, I know that I just need to stick it out and enjoy myself as much as possible. Go along for the ride and leave the Kleenex at home!

Neckar River, Tübingen

                                                       

Makin' burritos, a little taste of home!

East Side Gallery, Berlin Wall

http://www.iie.org/en/Programs/Gilman-Scholarship-Program

Feeling weird...again

A few days after the last post, I started feeling much better. Much more comfortable. Not so weirded out.

Maybe it was because the sun was finally shining. Maybe it was because I got all my stuff unpacked and my new room all set up. Maybe it was because of the great shoe store I found right around the corner.

And then I went to Prague. This is my 3rd trip to Prague, because this is where my boyfriend lives. We came to Europe together, with the hope of staying here together for the next year. Although he is suffering from the same culture shock symptoms I am wading my way through, he is nice and settled here in Prague. Nice job, nice apartment, great roommates, and really awesome new friends. And Prague is happening. Breathtakingly beautiful and full of culture and history, Prague is definitely the place to be.

But now....we don't know if he can stay. It's long, complicated, and beureaucratic to the max. The reality is that if he goes home, things aren't looking so good for us. We're willing to try the long distance thing, but it's very hard to be in a relationship where you can't see the other person for months on end. And with school being my number one priority, I may not be able to live in the same city as him for 2 years.

Ouch.

I'm only writing about this because this is definitely something to consider when choosing to study abroad. Being so far from the person you love is nearly impossible--most everyone in my program who started out in a relationship has broken up with their partner by now.

So, now, I'm sitting in his house, waiting for him to come home from work, and wondering what the future holds in store for us. Feelin' weird again. I wish I knew what was going to happen. Hmmmm wait...no I don't. That would be way too boring.

I'm starting school in a few days, but now after 10 days in the Czech Republic, I'm not sure I even know how to speak German anymore...I'm scared!!! But that's not until Monday.

For now...I'm in beautiful Prague....and loving every minute :)

Prague Castle

Good times in a strange land

Long time, no blog. Sorry about that. I've been in a really weird head space lately and struggling with what to write. I wanted to keep this all positive, but the reality is, and this is something you should know if you want to study abroad, is that there will be good days and bad days and it's not always all fun and games. Actually, much of what you will go through is quite frustrating. But just as I've been telling my friends they've got to hang in there, it will get better, they're telling me the same thing....and I know they're right.

In the past 2 weeks I've been to Heidelberg, which is gorgeous...

Heidelberg

Heidelberg Castle

and Munich, for Oktoberfest. Oktoberfest has been something I've been dreaming of going to for so long, and it was definitely all that I had hoped for and more. Getting back...was a different story. Let's just say you get what you pay for, and the cheapest ticket isn't always best. Helpful hint #1 when traveling on Germany's rail system, the Deutsche Bahn. If you need help, miss your train, find yourself lost, just go to the Deutsche Bahn information booth. They can point you in the right direction, or as in our case, they put us in a free taxi from Stuttgart to Horb (which would have been over 100 euros) when our series of 4 delayed trains caused us to miss our last connection home. A stressful night, but thankfully we all made it safely back to Horb.

In the past 2 days, I have left my host family in the teeny tiny village of Eutigen for the slightly larger but still small town of Tuebingen, where I will begin classes at the university in about 2 weeks. I've gone back and forth over the host family experience. Definitely worth it, and I definitely recommend it for any student studying abroad. It's a great way to experience the culture and learn how daily life is lived. But every coin has a flip side, and there were plenty of awkward moments and things I'm chalking up to cultural misunderstandings. But you know, that's what this is all about. And believe me, things that you learn the hard way are not easily forgotten.

So. Now I am in Tuebingen. This is what I worked so hard for. This is what I cried over when I thought I wouldn't be able to make it.

This is what I've been dreaming of.

Now...I'm here. Finally. It feels normal and inside out at the same time. Does that make sense? I find myself in yet another completely new situation. Living with strangers. That I haven't really met yet. I have no idea how this is going to go, and although I am trying to make myself comfortable, I'm really not sure what to make of this just yet.

But just when I want to hide in my room and shut this new world out, something inside me knows I need to go outside and see what's out there. Who knows what I might find??? It could make me feel better, it could make me feel worse, but I'll never know unless I go and check it out, right?

Oktoberfest, Munich!!!

http://www.iie.org/en/Programs/Gilman-Scholarship-Program

A moment of peace

I've been here in Germany for a little over a month now and I still don't think it's quite sunk into my brain that I am living here. I definitely have my good days and bad days, and although I've managed to settle into a little bit of groove, I still have a lingering cloud of discombobulation hanging over my head. To counteract my  scattered feelings, I try to stay as active as possible. I jump on every chance I can find to try something new. Sometimes it works out, sometimes not...but I still keep jumping.


Like our student group trips on Saturdays. We get to go to a different city in Germany every week, which, I must say, is truly awesome. What an amazing opportunity!! But...let's just say I feel really bad for our group trip leaders. As well as everybody else who has the unfortunate luck to be in the same train car as 50 super loud and obnoxious American students. It's a bit of a catch 22 for me. I love to travel, but not with such a big group. I like to stay with the group so I can experience new things with my friends, but I am also extremely independent and love to go and explore on my own.


Situations like this tend to drive me a little insane...


But...I always manage to find my "zen" moment, someway, somehow. Like yesterday, when we went to Konstanz, Germany. I stayed with the group for the first part, but then I broke off alone. I ended up on the trail around the Bodensee (Lake Constance), part of which is actually in Switzerland. I sat there at the edge of the lake, with the calm clear blue waves lapping against my feet, the distant sound of motorboats out on the water, and the soft autumn sun warming my face, and I felt a wave of comfort wash over me that I had no idea I was missing. It was the first time I felt truly at home in a long time. And it felt good. The best part was that I found that all by myself.

Ahhhhhh Konstanz....

The Bodensee and my moment of peace :)

http://www.iie.org/en/Programs/Gilman-Scholarship-Program 

How to survive culture shock

Culture shock. It's a real thing. And if you're going to study abroad, everyone is going to tell you about it. Wikipedia describes it as "the anxiety and feelings (of surprise, disorientation, uncertainty, confusion, etc.) felt when people have to operate within a different and unknown culture such as one may encounter in a foreign country."

Yep. It can come in many forms. You may feel angry at the people you are now surrounded by that are different from you. You may feel lost and isolated. You may feel such a whirlwind of emotions that you won't even know what to call it. For me, and lots of other students around me, it comes in the form of homesickness. Just this feeling of incredible sadness and depression, with the thought of "what am i doing here?" constantly running through the mind.

So what? Time to give up? Never!!! Here's some tips that helped me work my way through my own bout with culture shock (which I am sure is not over yet). Maybe it can help you too.

1) Don't isolate yourself. Do not, I repeat, do not lock yourself in your room because the outside world is too overwhelming. This is the quickest way to let culture shock take over!

2) Keep doing the things you love to do, but adapt these things to your new culture. For me, it's running, hiking, just being outside in general that I love to do, so I walk home from school every day, and try to get out running or hiking two or three times a week. It's a great way to still feel "normal" while experiencing your new enviornment at the same time.

3) Stay active. Make sure you don't have too much "downtime" because that gives you time to think about what every else at home is doing.

4) Get involved! Sign up for that class trip, go check out your new city, or invite a new friend over for dinner (it's especially fun to cook something for them that is native to your country that they've never tried).

You have to make the best out of every moment you have while studying abroad. It'll be over before you know it so make sure you don't let what could be the time of your life pass you by!

Get out there and enjoy it!!

 

http://www.iie.org/en/Programs/Gilman-Scholarship-Program

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Culture_shock