Oh wow. Here it is. My very last night in Germany. I really can't believe it. I already left Konstanz. I said goodbye to all my new friends and my favorite little German town. I was completely heartbroken when I left. Like a physical pain in my chest as the train was pulling away.

I took the train to Berlin, where I am visiting old friends and new. Saying more goodbyes. My heart felt much better once I stepped off the train in Berlin....I really love this town. So much culture, diversity, art and history. Great haircuts and sweet style. And vegan döner (a German delight created by Turkish immigrants in Berlin, traditionally meat only, but Berlin has it all)!!!! Whooo!

But, as my time here in Berlin is coming to an end as well, I feel the pain in my heart coming back. As hard as this year has been, I really had a great time and I really love it here in Germany. I know it won't be long till I come back. It can't be. You can't stay away from something you love for too long.........right?

I feel that same anxiety I felt over a year ago, lying in my bed in San Francisco, and knowing it would be the last time I would sleep in that bed in more than a year. Not knowing who I would meet, where I would go, where I would sleep next. Funny, but I have the same fear of going back home as I did of leaving.

So with pain in my heart and tears in my eyes, I'll get on the plane tomorrow night and leave Germany for good. Well at least for a while.

Buuuuuuuut, I got some traveling to do in the meantime, on the road again!!!

Next stop...Reykjavik, Iceland!!!

The Fernsehturm at dusk, Berlin

Crunch time

How am I supposed to study AND say goodbye to all my new friends at the same time????

This may be the hardest part of the year yet...in 2 weeks I will be gone.

It just hit me...

I just heard a language being spoken outside my window that I didn't recognize and I got sort-of butterflies in my stomach. I realized it was because I haven't heard a language I don't recognize in so long. I mean, there are lots of different accents and dialects around here, especially since I'm so close to Switzerland....but I just realized how much I miss living in a big city. As much as I love it here and really, really don't want to leave...it's gonna be good to be back in good ole San Francisco!!

the famous Haight/Ashbury, San Francisco

at the Albany Bulb, Albany, CA

an anti-war protest, San Francisco 2005

Bixby Bride, on Rt 1 near Big Sur, California

the rocky California coast, Rt 1

Only looking forward, seeing beautiful things ahead...

The Beginning of the End

On the morning of the 1st of July, I woke up and saw what day it was. The first thought that went through my head is, "This is the month that I have to leave".

At a get-together with friends the other night, we made a toast, and one person said, "To the beginning of the end"...I've never heard a truer, sadder statement.

It truly is the beginning of the end. Although my friends back home say, "Germany isn't going anywhere", which is true, they don't realize that what is happening right here, right now, in this place, with these people, will never, ever be like this again.

Here's to celebrating the beginning of the end of one of the greatest years of my life.

Stress

Oh man. Exams in two weeks. Leaving in 3. Going to Iceland. Have no money left. Boyfriend ran his car into a tree while trying to park today (he's not hurt, but the bumper on his car is officially dead and buried). Sister's car died too.

I have to pack. I have to send my stuff home (because I bought too much while I was here). I have to de-register with the city. Exmatriculate from the university. Do something (although I don't know what yet) with my papers from my job. Sign up for classes back home. Hopefully sell some of the junk I've acquired to new students coming in. Make an appointment with the Hausmeister (landlord). Find a new place to live back home. Find a job back home.

EXAMS IN TWO WEEKS. German exams.

Stress.

One thing at a time.

Exams..........AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!

Lucid dreaming...

Have you ever had one of those dreams that are so completely vivid, so real, that you have a hard time knowing what reality really is when you wake up? Your mind is fuzzy and pieces of the dream are still wrapped around you like the blanket you sleep with...you can remember that dream like it was a memory, as if it had really happened.

That's how I feel about my time abroad. I've been thinking about what it will be like to go home...what it will really be like. Back to reality. Thinking back over this year really seems like it was a dream, like it never really happened.

And the weirdest part is that I'm still living it...as if I'm still in the dream, I know it's a dream, and soon I have to wake up........

AAAAAAAAAH I'm going home soon!??!?!

Wait...what happened? Where did this year go? I am leaving Germany in 6 weeks, well, 40 days to be exact.

WHAT??

I am so busy now with work, school and an intern project I am working on with the Bio department at Uni Konstanz that I haven't had much time to think about it. But it's on my mind. I am leaving. I've been here for a year. I am going back to San Francisco.

Whoa. There are things I am looking forward to...my family, my friends, the boyfriend (even though we still have to be long distance until I finish school, at least we'll be in the same country!) Burritos!! Thai Breakfast in Berkeley. The Mission Bar. El Farolito. Buffalo Exchange. Trader Joes. All the stuff I haven't been able to get for the past year. Things are so much easier when you are in your home country....

but......

oh, all the things I will miss!! The bread, the cheese, the pastries, the pretzels, the BEER! Biergartens, marching bands for every occasion, the crazy festivals, the rolling hills, the Alps, the Bodensee, oh how I will miss seeing the blue sparkling beauty that is Lake Constance...

And traveling, traveling, traveling....how am I going to live in the same place for the next year??

 At the Istituto d'Arte,  Florence, Italy

Duomo, Florence

This is all too weird. Gotta think about this for a while.

Pisa, Italy

Hiking around Florence with my friend Christine

Or avoid reality as long as possible!!

Montorosso al Mare (Cinque Terre) Italy

Vernazza (Cinque Terre) Italy

Will Work for Language Skills

I have been working at a hotel here in Konstanz. Cleaning rooms for cash. I was told not to count on getting a job while abroad, which you shouldn't, but I found it relatively easy to get a job here, namely because Konstanz is a tourist town. Lots of restaurants, cafes, hotels, eis cafes (ice cream shop)...well, whatever you like to have around when you're on vacation, it's here.

Schiff auf dem Bodensee

View from the Fahrradbrücke (bike bridge)

Fun in the sun, Rhein River 

I decided to get a job here for some extra cash--I have a few more trips planned before I leave (which is coming so soon!!) and traveling requires money. It's also a great way to learn more about the culture that you are living in. You can meet as many students as you like, from your host country or from all over the world, but you will still only learn about the student way of life this way. You may get lucky and get invited to meet parents and go to your new friends' home towns, but still, you are missing out on at least one facet of your host culture's daily life. The working world.

By getting a job, you not only get introduced to a new side of your new culture, but you really get a chance to practice the language. I can tell you where I'm from, what I study, and why I chose to study in Germany with my eyes closed in German. Because I've had that same conversation again and again with so many students since I've been here. When you are working, you become more exposed to dialects, slang and the everyday language of the people. It's a great way to continue your language studies while earning some traveling money!

http://www.iie.org/en/Programs/Gilman-Scholarship-Program

Traveling Tips...

view of the Algarve Region, Portugal

downtown Faro

I just got back from Portugal!!! I randomly went on a ski trip to the Alps a few months ago, and I ended up meeting these two people who are living in Faro, Portugal. We hit it off and they invited me to visit. And you better believe I took them up on it!!


Anyway, instead of blabbing incessantly about my thoughts and feelings about study abroad, I thought I'd share a few traveling tips I've learned along the way...

1) Make friends!!! 
The more involved you are, the more people you will meet, the more places you have to stay! After almost one year in Europe, I now have free places to stay in Dublin, Brighton, Amsterdam, Tuebingen, Konstanz, Munich, Berlin, Estonia, Australia, Faro, Rome....all over the place!! And all these people have a free place to stay in San Francisco! Networking...it works!! Couchsurfing is definitely where it's at!!
http://www.couchsurfing.org/

2) Cheap airlines:
-Ryan Air
-Easy Jet
-German Wings
-Air Berlin
-Iceland Express
-Wizz Air

Check these airlines periodically, if you can be flexible, you can find great deals. Sometimes German Wings does a thing called "Blind Booking", where you get a list of cities you might visit, then you check off the cities you don't want to go to. Each check adds more to the price of your ticket (so if you are willing to go to any of the cities listed, you will have the cheapest possible flight). You don't know where you are going until your credit card goes through! Super fun! Be careful with these cheap airlines, they have a lot of small print--for example, my friend forgot to print off her Ryan Air boarding passes before she left, and they charged her 40 euros to print the tickets for her. Also, they charge 30 extra euros if you want to check a bag. Stuff like that. If you read the fine print and follow all the rules, you can find really great deals.

3) Trains
Ok, so the Eurorail really just isn't that cheap. At this point, you can find better deals on the airlines. They have all these different passes you can get, that allow you to go on certain trains to specific places within a certain number of days....I haven't found the tickets to be very realistic. And I've heard horror stories about people who didn't sign and date their ticket, meaning the ticket is invalid, and they've had to buy a completely new (and expensive) ticket right there on the train. (By the way, if you ever by a pass or a ticket and it has a place for a name and/or date, fill it in!! It's not valid if you don't!)

If you are traveling in Germany, you can sometimes find good deals on the Deutsche Bahn.
http://www.bahn.de/i/view/USA/en/index.shtml

If you look under "offers" you may find some good deals--every once in a while I found tickets from Tuebingen to Prague for about 60 euros. But if you plan on doing a lot of traveling within Germany, a Bahn Card is definitely worth it. The Bahn 25 Card will get you 25% off of travel within Germany, and the Bahn 50 Card will get you 50% off travel within Germany and 25% off certain travel in other countries. I've used my Bahn Card a million times--one trip to Berlin and it pays for itself. Students under 27 can get the Bahn 50 Card for half price. But if you mostly plan on traveling outside of Germany, I'd say check the airlines.

4) Rental Cars
Hmmmmmm, yea, too expensive and too complicated if you ask me. You can find automatic cars, but most cars here are manual, so if you don't drive stick, you're out. Most cities in Europe have a decent metro, so having a car really isn't necessary.

5) Ride Sharing
For travel in and around Germany, check out Mitfahrgelegenheit:
http://www.mitfahrgelegenheit.de/

This is great!! It's an organized ride share--safe hitchhiking! It was recommended by my program coordinator in Tuebingen, so I tried it out. Basically, drivers that are making a trip from one city to another who want someone to ride with them, for gas money or maybe just for company, will post their trip on the website. And if you're looking for a ride, you can go to the website, check out the trip you want to take, and see if there are any rides offered. If so, you call (or even text) the person and set it up. It's normally quicker and easier than the train (no changing trains and worrying about missed connections) and usually cheaper too. I got a ride to Berlin for 30 euros (Deutsche Bahn charges 60-130 euros) and to the Memmingen Airport (Ryan Air!) for 12 euros. It's a nice way to travel and an opportunity to meet new people! I made a new friend last time I went with Mitfahrgelegenheit, I highly recommend it!

So travel on! It's so easy you have no excuse not to!! Thanks again Gilman :)
http://www.iie.org/en/Programs/Gilman-Scholarship-Program

Praia do Faro, Portugal

Addendum to the "German Stare" post

So I've been thinking about what I said last week, and I'm really hoping I didn't come off as condescending or closed-minded. I didn't mean to put it in an "us and them" context. The so-called "German stare" (a phrase I've heard from other exchange students, I didn't make this one up) is simply a phenomenon that I have noticed and taken very personally.

However, I seem to take a lot of things too personally, and when I step back and look at the whole picture, it's not just about me. People aren't staring at just me, and they're not staring at me just for my tattoos. Yes, my tattoos attract a lot of attention, but that's not just here, it's everywhere.

And one thing I've noticed over the past week, is Germans staring at other people, not just me. I've seen that stare up and down and back and forth....and it's not only to people who look different or weird. People are just interested in other people--it's human nature--and the difference is that here, it's ok to look.

And guess what? I realized that I've been doing it too!

When in Germany...

One thing that is very different about the German culture (if you ask me, I'd say it's the whole European culture) is the way the people will openly stare at you. Watch Fellini's film "Roma" and you'll see what I'm talking about. It's a full-on, 180-degree, as far as their heads will turn stare. And the more different you look, the more they stare.

Now consider the fact that I have very large tattoos on my chest and arms, something that is relatively unseen here in this quiet, conservative little town in southern Germany. Seriously. I have been here for 2 and a half months and I have only seen 3 guys with big tattoos like mine and one girl, who I'm guessing was a tourist. So now that the weather is amazing, I find myself outside quite a bit in tank tops and dresses......and getting quite a lot of stares.

This has been something that's been very hard for me to deal with, ever since it started last summer. It was particularly bad in Rome. Where I grew up, staring is rude with a capital "R". Very very impolite. If you catch someone staring at you in the States, what happens? The second you catch them, they look away as quickly as possible and try to pretend like they hadn't noticed you. Not here. The stare goes on and on.

I know,I know, if I don't want to be stared at, why did I get such huge tattoos? Someone with tattoos like mine is just asking for it. Even with that in mind, I found the German stare to be profoundly disturbing and it used to make me very angry. Sometimes it still does.

But what I try to keep in mind is that even though it is considered rude in my country, I am not in my country. I am a guest in their country. It's me that needs to adapt to their culture and not vice versa. And that's what study abroad is all about!

Struttin' our stuff in Empfingen, Germany

Big tattoos in Barcelona, with my sister and my boyfriend

Have I mentioned how much I love it here??

Blumen am Bodensee

Konstanz is absolutely gorgeous. Especially now that everything is in bloom.
The weather is amazing and the streets are filled with vendors, tourists, and people who just love to be outside.The salty smell of the Bodensee washes over me as I jog along the lake and I couldn't be happier to be here.

view of Kontanz from Switzerland

I was terrified when I first came back, but I was back on my feet in no time. I was scared to death to go to my first class, but I just told myself that I would get through it, just like everything else I have been scared to do throughout this year. And not only was it no big deal, but it's so good to be taking science classes again, that it doesn't even matter that it's in German. The fact that they are science classes makes me want to learn that much more. 

I've really put myself out there and set myself up for challenges this year, especially these last few months. I wish I would have been more aggressive earlier in the year, but better late than never. One thing I can tell you for sure, is that if you study abroad, do not settle for anything, no matter how insignificant you may think it is. My first semester could have gone a lot better (easy to see in retrospect), if I would have pushed to change things that weren't working for me. Now that I have learned that, I am much happier and having a great time. 

Your time abroad is limited and you must make the most of every minute!

On a trail along the Bodensee

on the Bodensee

http://www.iie.org/en/Programs/Gilman-Scholarship-Program

Now it's gettin real...

Ok. Back in Germany. Again. Everytime I get to a new place, it feels as if the old place were just a dream, a shadowy fuzzy memory that I'm not sure actually happened. It feels like I never left.

Seeing the boyfriend was good. Leaving him was not as hard as I thought it would be. We'll see each other in a few months. Him leaving Europe was the best thing he could have done for me, because just as it was easy to cling to other Californians here, it was even easier for me to cling to him. When he left, I was forced to put myself out there and meet new people on my own. Which turned out to be more fun than I ever imagined it could be.

But seeing him again allowed me to drop right back into my old ways, and now that I am back in Germany, without him, I am faced with the task of putting myself out there again. I didn't realize how hard it is for me to do that until I just went back and found everything so easy. I had my friends, my boyfriend, my family, all wrapped up into a little package with no effort on my part. I could shop, order at a restaurant, ask for directions--anything I needed to do was easy because I understood how it works.

Now that I'm back, everything is hard again. I don't know how things work, I can't read all the signs, I don't know how to say what I need to say. This morning, I had to go to the Bürgerbüro (literally means citizens office, kind of like the DMV or City Hall) to pick up my residence permit. Just figuring out which room to go to and how the waiting system works was an ordeal in itself.

And classes have started. I am terrified of my science classes I must take auf Deutsch. Welcome to the hard times...but the harder I work for something, the better it feels once it's accomplished.

Nothing good comes easy, right?

It's the little things...

I'm 2 weeks into my stay in the States--I can't believe time is going so fast, but I guess it always does when you are having fun. Again, I don't find it too strange to be back in the States. I guess it's because I've been traveling and moving around for the last year...I haven't had the same bed for longer than a few months since last May!

Also, I think that since my general lifestyle hasn't changed, it's not too hard to adjust to a new place. I guess that part of the study abroad experience is to try and live a different life for a year, take a new culture for a test-drive of sorts, so as to compare it to your own experiences. I haven't been immersed enough in any new culture to really lose my old way of life. University life is, to an extent, just university life, no matter where it takes place (with exceptions, of course).

But along the way to cultural immersion is adaptation. There are little things that are different in each culture, that no matter how you choose to live your life, you will have to adapt to in order to get along in the new culture. Things that I've gotten used to in Germany are...

-hearing foreign languages all around me and all signs in German
-weighing fruit and vegetables at the grocery store
-sorting trash and recycling it like crazy!
-Euros
-paying for your drink or meal after you are finished and having to ask for the check
-smoking allowed in most bars...

...to name a few. So it is these small differences that I am really noticing now. Dollar bills look weird, and so do the power outlets. Hearing English conversations and being able to read every sign and advertisement is now foreign to me. These little things remind me that although I am not living a new life nor am I a new person, I have been able to adapt  to the changes around me and get along just fine :)

A visit to the BF

Once again...visiting my boyfriend this time. The last visit home wasn't long enough to combine a visit to my family and my boyfriend, so here I am, back again. The last couple of months flew by, and it's feels like no time at all has passed between us. Contrary to popular belief, long distance relationships can work. They are not ideal, and definitely require a lot of work, but as long as you love and trust each other, all can be ok. We e-mail each other almost every day and skype 2 or 3 times a week. This allows us to keep up with each other's lives and still feel close. Saying goodbye will be really hard, especially because this next time apart will be the longest we've ever gone apart, but I'm trying not to think about that right now...I just got here!! 


When time is passing as quickly as it seems to be right now, it's important to try and appreciate every moment and to really try and live in the moment. In the infamous words of Ferris Bueller, "Life moves pretty fast...if you don't stop and look around once in awhile, you could miss it."

Goodbye Prague, hello new adventures!

Last day in Berlin...but won't be long until we're back again

http://www.iie.org/en/Programs/Gilman-Scholarship-Program

Snowboarding in the Swiss Alps, whoooooo!

Yup, that's right. Dream # 382....check. I went snowboarding last weekend with a very cool group of Couchsurfers. A girl from Russia studying in Munich. A girl from the Ukraine studying in Portugal. A guy from Portugal. A girl from Estonia (I'm embarrassed to say I didn't even know where Estonia was before I met Kriistina). A guy from Australia. And three Germans. What a group!

Phil, Svetlana and Berthold

Pedro, Berthold and Anna

Anna and Pedro, picture time!

It was probably one of the most expensive weekends of my life (what they say about Switzerland is true!) but it was worth it. I'm not kidding.....I felt like I was riding in heaven. Snowboarding in the Alps has seriously been a dream of mine for I don't know how long, and I did it! I did it!!! 

You should have seen the huge smile on my face as I flew down this mountain...I'm still smiling :)

Bad Ragaz, Switzerland

the cheesy smile

 

wooooooow, really??

Mt. Pizol, yay!

once again...thank you Gilman Scholarship Program, you're making my dreams come true!!
http://www.iie.org/en/Programs/Gilman-Scholarship-Program

or on facebook:

http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=2204501850

Slacking on blog means I've been having too much fun ;)

I didn't realize I hadn't written in so long. What this amounts to is a wicked awesome time in my new town. I am now in Konstanz, Germany--a small town right on the border with Switzerland and Austria. I can walk to Switzerland. Awesome!!

I had really high hopes in coming to a new town. New roommates, new classmates and a new start. I am enrolled in "März Kurs" here at the Uni Konstanz, which is a combination of an intensive German language course every morning for 3 hours a day (ugh!) and orientation into our new university and new city. In Germany, this means lots and lots and lots of paperwork. Thank goodness there is such a wonderful team of people here, helping us through it all step by step.

What I have found is that people (ie the Erasmus students) are the same no matter where you go. Cliques are forming, Americans are clinging to Americans, French to French, Italian to Italian, with little outer-group mingling.

But, I've stuck to my word and have really put myself out there. I've participated in excursions, I've shown up to parties without knowing hardly anyone (which has included that record-screeching-to-a-halt moment where everyone shuts up and stares at you when you walk through the door...), and I've become an active member of the couchsurfing group here in Konstanz.

It's been hard for me to put myself out there, because by nature I am shy and introverted. But this trip was all about overcoming my fears, so I have really walked to the edge of the diving board and jumped in (sorry for the cheesy cliche, it just fits somehow). And I've been having such a great time! Things are getting easier as I am becoming more familiar with the city and developing real friendships.

I'm seeing and doing things I have never thought possible, and I owe it all to study abroad.

What are you waiting for!?!? :)

from the top of the church, Konstanz

Konstanz, my new home!

the beautiful Bodensee, ahhh sehr schön!!

http://www.iie.org/en/Programs/Gilman-Scholarship-Program
or check them out on facebook:
http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=2204501850

Which Way to the Eiffel Tower?

So I went home for my break. I don't recommend doing that, not for any mind blowing reason, like you will forget everything you've learned, or you will never want to go home again. Nothing at all like that. Just merely for the fact that you are studying ABROAD, which means not going home on your break. When will you ever have this chance again??

That being said, I did go home for break. My parents really really wanted me to, and no matter how old I get, I'll always be a sucker to my parents' famous guilt trips. And it was great to see my family and old friends. Oh how quickly the time went, and now check it out...I'm back in Germany, but in a new town, attending a new university, making new friends and back on the adventure trail once again.

One cool thing about the trip home was that the trip back included a 4 hr layover in Paris. Mmmmhmm....if you're thinking what I'm thinking, you're thinking Eiffel Tower. Yup, I don't know french, I've never been to Paris, and I was traveling alone but somehow I figured out the Paris metro system and found my way to the Eiffel Tower!!

*pat pat* (that's me patting my own back)

Before you start thinking I'm so egomaniac, I just want to say that 6 months ago, I would have NEVER been able to figure that out, let alone have the guts to try something like that. Yay for study abroad!!! And thank you again to the Gilman Scholarship Program!!

http://www.iie.org/en/Programs/Gilman-Scholarship-Program

Not As Weird As I Thought

So. I am back. I'm in the midwest. With my parents.

I thought it would be SO weird to be back in the States after 8 months of Europe. And I must say, it is disappointingly not that strange to be back. All the signs are in English, all I hear around me is English. I can joke around with cashiers and servers again, because I know the language well enough to do that. I have Burt's Bees chapstick again. I can watch Hulu again. All the money is one color and one size. Out of everything that is different in Europe, the 2 things that feel very strange now are the look of the money and the size of the power outlets.

Not that mindblowing. I'm going to chalk this up to reverse-reverse-upside-down and backwards culture shock. After living in San Francisco for 5 years, coming back to the midwest is always a bit of a shock. So there's that.

And being with my parents again is like hanging out in a time capsule. Their lives haven't changed at all, and they don't really get that mine has. I have seen and done and experienced so much, but they can't really comprehend that. It's like I'm telling them about a movie I saw....whether it's about California, Germany, or anywhere else in the world, it just isn't going to really affect them as it has affected me.

Also, I feel like I've moved around so much in the last 8 months that my head is still reeling. At this point, I feel lucky to be in a place long enough to unpack my bag. I have been getting used to new beds, kitchens, bathrooms and roomies for the last 8 months straight.

Europe seems like a dream--fuzzy and unreal. Maybe it'll hit me when I go back??? Who knows? This is definitely not what I expected...but then again, things aren't very fun when they go like you think they will, right?  :)

Going "home"???

I am going "home" tomorrow. I actually have to wake up in 6 hrs so this one's gotta be short. My parents really wanted me to come home for Christmas, but I was a bit selfish and wanted to stay in Europe for the holidays. When am I going to get the chance to do this again, right?

The compromise, however, was that I come home to visit on my semester break. Well, the day has arrived. I finished the last of my finals a few hours ago (whoo! what a week!!) and now I am all packed, set, and ready to go...to Michigan.

I've been in Europe for the last 8 months, so going back to the States is weird enough as it is. All the signs will be in English. I'll have to pay in dollar bills, which are only one boring color. There are $1 bills, as opposed to the 1 and 2 euro coins. I will be able to understand everyone who speaks to me. I will be able to watch Hulu again.

Good god what am I getting myself into??? I've lived in California for the last 5 years, so just going back to Michigan to visit my parents every year for Christmas is a culture shock in itself.

Going from Europe to Michigan is going to be....well, I have no idea how it's going to be. I'll let you know!!

http://www.iie.org/en/Programs/Gilman-Scholarship-Program

Only looking forward...

I am 4 days away from leaving Tübingen and I absolutely cannot wait. Do I tell you what you want to hear? Or do I tell you the truth?

The truth is...the last 5 months here in Tübingen have not been the happiest for me. Sort of a roller coaster. Big ups and big downs. I know I must take some of the blame for not trying to burst the California bubble earlier, but I feel a lot of the fault can be placed on the program I am enrolled in.

There are 54 of us Californians here together in Tübingen. This is a small town, so there is no escaping. Maybe half of them live in my area of student housing, and most of the rest live together on the other side of town. I have a Californian on the floor above me, one on the floor below me, and ONE INSIDE MY FLAT. We were supposed to be "immersed" in the culture here......I am definitely not supposed to have a Californian as a roommate.

We also did not get to pick our own classes. The program consists of a strict set of classes that are made up of either all Californians (where we all speak English the whole class) or mostly Californians. The few classes we have with other students are the language classes, where thankfully we speak German, but more than 50% of these classes are still made up of Californians.

There is no escape. Some of them are fine with this. They live near each other, they have class together, they go out together, they travel together. And always, mind you, speaking English. Not my idea of immersion.

The other MAJOR problem is that I am 34. And everybody else is 20. I know it is unconventional for someone my age to be enrolled in a study abroad program, but I did it to try and broaden my horizons and put myself out of the comfort zone to see how far I could go. And I can't go ANYWHERE when I am chained to 53 other twenty-year olds, whom I cannot relate to at all.

So, I am very much looking forward to next semester. I get to start over. New city, new people, new roommates, new classes (that I get to choose). And hardly any Californians, whew!

There was absolutely nothing I could do about the classes, but believe me, it wasn't for the lack of trying. My advice to you....if you are looking to study abroad, find out exactly what the program entails. Especially if you are older, like I am. Honestly, it's been a personal hell trying to fit in with the 20 yr olds (which has been my mistake this whole time--I actually tried to fit in, instead of branching off and doing my own thing).

Most programs aren't as structured as mine. There are some students here from Connecticut, Michigan, and Oregon, and their programs are completely different. There are not so many of them here together, they get to choose their own classes, and they have a real chance of immersing themselves into the new culture.

On the other hand, my program is so structured that we didn't have any hassles getting here. The Visa process, matriculation, registration for classes and registration with the city were all taken care of for us. They even opened our bank accounts for us. Other students have to do all this on their own.

But you can learn a lot by being forced to handle things on your own, so even if your program doesn't baby you like mine did, don't let that scare you away. You'll figure it out!!

Well, I guess I have learned my lesson the hard way. If the roommates suck, move. If you don't like the people you are surrounded by, reach out. I have 5 more months left, so let's see what I can do!

http://www.iie.org/en/Programs/Gilman-Scholarship-Program

Mission Impossible?

Sometimes I get all caught up in how much German I'm not learning. I am going to visit my parents in 2 weeks and I will see my grandma, who was born and raised in Berlin. I am afraid of what she will think when she sees her granddaughter, who has just spent the last 6 months in Germany, and who can still hardly speak.
.
Sometimes I feel like I haven't learned much and that I have failed on my mission...but then I need to remember what my mission actually is:

To become more outgoing.
To be able to think on my toes and know how to react in a variety of situations.
To explore the world and learn a 2nd language.
And most of all, to break out of my comfort zone and really put myself out there, to see what I can find!

6 months ago, I would have never...
...met a group of people I don't know out for a coffee or a drink.
...gone to a show with someone I just met.
...invited almost complete strangers to come over and cook dinner with me.
...crashed on a strange couch in a strange city.
...gone out to eat, out for a coffee, or grocery shopping in a place where I don't speak the language.
...gone out jogging by myself in a city I'm not familiar with, with nothing but a map, 10 euros and a calling card in hand (in case I get lost, which I did, in Rome...I had to take a taxi home after being lost for 3 hours hahaha)

6 months ago, I would have been terrified to do any of those things, and now I do them without a second thought. And I've met the most amazing people this way. People I would have never had the chance to meet otherwise.

So is my mission complete? No. I'm not sure it ever will be. There's always room for improvement.

But is my mission a success so far? Absolutely.

On our way to new adventures in Italy

The view from the cottage in  Tuscany

New friend and boyfriend :)

Christmas dinner in Berlin, with new friends and old
http://www.iie.org/en/Programs/Gilman-Scholarship-Program

Einen Einblick

An insight...yesterday I took a break from studying (the semester is almost over! so much to do!!) and went in search of thrift stores here in Tübingen. I found myself walking through the Altstadt, and as I made my way down the cobblestone streets, I heard an accordion player...for just a minute, I felt like I was in the movie "Amelie" (one of my favorites)...

Right then, I suddenly realized, just how happy I am to be here :)

Altstadt Tübingen

The Neckar River Tübingen

Österberg, Tübingen

http://www.iie.org/en/Programs/Gilman-Scholarship-Program